This Crazy Life

My oldest daughter is 14 and the twins are 12.  They all have phones.  They also all know I can check their phones at any time.  Of course, if I don’t have reason to search phones I don’t.  We’ve had a lot of conversations about trust.  And things are good if I can trust you, but don’t let me lose trust in you.  Fess up.  Talk to me.  Let’s work through things together.  I am always on your side no matter what.  It may not be what you want, but I will look out for you even when you can’t look out for yourself.  My sick daughter gets her phone checked more than anyone because well she’s sick and the ED can not be trusted.  At All.  So, I found this heartbreaking text chain between the twins.  It started off innocent enough then it turned into her talking about her ED.  She thinks she was showing signs for a long time.  She always wanted to eat healthy and always wanted to run.  She always needed to be the best at everything (this is true).  However, she went on to say that she never felt she was seen.  That’s why she had to be the absolute best at everything.  To try to get someone to see her (talk about heart breaking).  Then she found out the wanted her to fly on her cheer team next year, so she knew she had to be the absolute best flyer.  So, she started stretching.  And she started to watch what she ate.  And she ate less and less and less and then BAM here we are.  Reading it in writing from your 12-year-old daughter all the feelings and emotions of how this all started was really, really hard.  She also doesn’t know that I’ve read this yet.  I’m not sure how to approach her about it.  I plan on talking to my therapist and her therapist about it this week.  Let some professionals help guide me.