This Crazy Life

I’ve been dealing with some health issues.   Extreme fatigue.  Dizziness.  Lack of any energy or motivation.  When you also struggle with mental health issues it’s hard to know what’s physical vs mental.  I currently think I’m in a combo state of anemia (I did get blood work and have the labs to show this) as…

What would you do if you found messages between two of your teenagers essentially bashing you as both a mother and a person.  So that might be a little extreme for what happened.  But none the less it happened.  And it sucked.  I’m not the prying type.  My kids typically come to me anyway.  I…

We’ve survived a graduation party, awards assembly, final walk through the schools, FFA banquet and GRADUATION!  I now have an adult child.  She turned 18 during high school but I think they are still a kid until they are out of school.  She’s going to continue school so officially, she’s still a kid.  But graduating…

My oldest is graduating high school.  In between trips, horse shows, work, prom and normal everyday life.  We are also planning a graduation party and getting ready for graduation.  I am stressed out, on overdrive, overwhelmed and over it.  My brain is overflowing with ideas and things I both need and want to do.  I…

So as anyone knows that follows our story my daughter is actually doing ok.  No, she’s not thriving.  But she is surviving.  And week by week she does something that amazes me.  It may be a small thing to most, like drinking water from a water dispenser, but compared to the battle we’ve been through…

So we survived.  A week on a ship.  A week without access to all her safe foods and grocery stores if something went wrong.  Do I think she ate like she was supposed to.  Um no.  Do I think she didn’t eat some days.  Yes.  Do I think she’s going to be ok before we…

We are leaving for a cruise in just over a week.  We’ll be on the ship for 7 nights.  SEVEN!  She’s excited.  I’m not really sure how I’m feeling.  I don’t think I’m nervous or excited.  More stressed.  Stressed that everyone will have fun and nothing will go wrong.  I always plan these things.  There…

This blog is all over the place anymore.  It’s kind of like a therapy journal for me at this point.  I’m currently at a work conference.  One I willingly signed up for. And you know how that goes when you’re a total introvert.  You do something you wish you could do and think you should…

I never thought I would ever see the day she would eat something not on her self-imposed meal plan.  Prepackaged.  Preweighed.  Prepared food that all met very specific caloric and nutritional guidelines.  But I got a video the other day from her twin.  Of her taking a bite out of a Starbucks cake pop.  A…

How long can you fake something before it even comes reality or it breaks you?  Like really breaks you.  I think that’s a lot of my problem right now.  I’m trying so hard in every aspect of my life, trying to “make” what I want my life to be.  And I’m just failing at it…