This Crazy Life

Early on in this process I got on meds for anxiety.  They helped.  A lot.  That was all I had time for.  Now that I’m home and settling into a routine I thought seeing a real in person therapist might be beneficial.  I had looked on my insurance company’s website and started my search.  It was really overwhelming.  I called 3, that said they took my insurance and were accepting new patients.  The first one wasn’t accepting new patients.  The second one was at an addiction treatment facility which is not the help I need and the third was taking new patients but not new patients with insurance.  So, I quit.  Then my daughter’s new therapist emailed me some different links and recommendations for my daughter.  I took a deep breath and asked if she had any recommendations for a therapist for me.  She did!  I called the first one and I got in on Tuesday.  I was nervous.  I had my jaw clenched to keep from crying.  But then it was ok.  She was really nice.  We talked.  She gave me some tips and strategies.  We did EDMR and I liked that a lot.  It was really relaxing.  I told her I want to be happy again.  I’ve given up on getting my family back to normal.  But if I could be happy with our current situation, I think would be better.  Accept it and be happy but keep working on forward progress.  I don’t think anyone in my family is happy, but maybe if I’m happy I can help them be happy.  You know the saying, if mama ain’t happy ain’t nobody happy.  I’m working to see if that’s true.  I’ll let you know what I find out!