This Crazy Life

No, her discharge didn’t get pushed back.  Yes, they are still done with her, and we are still discharging.  But we are doing it in radio silence.  No communication.  No last talks or updates or best wishes from her team.  On Tuesday I was promised discharge paperwork instead of the updated TPU on Wednesday or Thursday.  It’s now 2pm on Friday and I have nothing.  Nada.  Zilch.  I pick her up at 330.  I’m expecting nothing.  I know the last post talked about how frustrating it was, but I’m still feeling all the same frustration.  Communication was so good in the beginning.  And me being me just wonders what I did wrong.  What did I do to totally turn them off this case.  I’m not pushy.  I’m not overly needy.  I just honestly don’t understand.  I’m sure I’ll never understand.  But soon enough I will have a kid at home that refuses to eat so I’ll have more pressing matters to concern myself with.  How many days do you think she’ll stay stable at home when she’s already consuming less than 500 calories a day and has for a week.  We go to the new doctor on Monday.  She’s supposed to be really good with EDs.  Whatever that means.  Maybe she can “cure” her.  I bought wrapping paper today so I can start wrapping presents and getting things done just in case I end up in the hospital sooner rather than later.  And people still ask me, she just really wants to be skinny.  You have no fucking idea what this disease entails.  No fucking idea at all.  Someone actually asked me how a 13-year-old was beating the professionals.  I said it’s not a 13-year-old.  It’s a disease.  She is very sick.  And this is the hardest disease to cure.  It’s not just her.  There are lots of kids like her around the world.  Very sick, and no one can help them.  Someday maybe we will know more and be able to help these kids.  Someday.