This Crazy Life

One week.  We survived one week.   Was it good.  Absolutely not.  Are we thriving?  Definitely not.  Are we surviving?  Not even close.  Are we going to make it to Christmas?  At this point I don’t even think we’ll make it that long.  Sadly.  It’s depressing.  Very, very depressing.  She’s been making her own “food”.  If you can even call it food.  She’ll eat nothing I touch or prepare.  So, I thought I would let her try this way.  Wednesday night her dad was working late, and I had to take one of her sisters to practice, she starts texting me irate that I had her big sister add oil to her veggies.  This obviously did not happen.  She doesn’t let food out of her sight.  I would also not ask her sister to do that.  But to teach me that my actions have consequences she wasn’t going to eat at all on Thursday.  Which she didn’t.  Dad worked on dinner with her.  She fell asleep.  She then woke up and accused him of dumping food down her throat while she was asleep.  Yeah, that definitely happened.  And the fasting continues today.  And more than likely tomorrow.  We met with both her therapist and dietician today and they really have no words.  They are trying.  But she’s extremely difficult.  Extremely severe.  Nothing can be easy.   So now we play the waiting and wondering game.  When to take her to the ER.  When is she bad enough they’ll keep her because getting turned away because she is “not sick enough” is definitely not helpful.  But you can’t wait too long because that isn’t good either.  I have a lot more thoughts.  I’ll add more tomorrow.  For now I think I need a glass of wine and a drink.