This Crazy Life

We came back to the ER on Tuesday.  They admitted her.  For 7-10 days this time.  At least that’s what they are thinking.  I’m not counting on it though because the time always seems to shorten.  Her blood sugar was low, her heart rate was low, her blood pressure was low (55/20).  Basically, every time she’s crashing faster and harder.  They said it’s a life-or-death situation.  Not that it’s never not been a life-or-death situation but the worse she gets the more likely death is going to happen.  And she’s completely unphased.  Her body is fine.  Even though she doesn’t feel good.  She’s just fine.  And she’s definitely not eating at home.  They are going to place an NG tube today.  So, it’s there and they’ll send her home with it.  They told me to use it overnight if I have to and worry about the aftermath later.  That’s easy for them to say when they aren’t the ones that will have to pick up the destroyed house.  They told me I needed to take complete control; I said I am more than willing, but you show me how that’s possible.  It sounds good in theory, but I assure you it is not possible.  At all.  So, I’m sitting in her hotel room.  Yes, that’s actually what I typed at first.  Her hospital room.  Working.  And reading.  For an undetermined amount of time.  But she’s happy.  She was sick enough this time.  She is a good little girl for her eating disorder.