This Crazy Life

Today marks three weeks home from the hospital.  Three weeks that we’ve maintained stability.  I think this is our longest stretch ever.  I can tell it’s getting harder.  I’m getting accused every meal and snack of messing with something.  The paranoia is increasing every time anyone enters the kitchen or the garage.  She knows someone is messing with her food.  Or her pan.  Or adding oil to surfaces for her to touch and it seep through her skin.  But she’s doing it.  At least as of now.  We’ll find out again on Friday if she’s maintained.  She talks constantly about needing to decrease.  She knows she’s gaining weight.  But so far, we’ve managed to work through it by reminding her the other option is residential.  I know she won’t be able to do this forever.  I know eventually it will just be too much.  I also know that at some point we actually need to work towards recovery.  But for now, even though it so mentally exhausting for me, If I can keep her home and stable for a while, I’m ok with that.  Nothing else has worked so why not give this a shot.