This Crazy Life

I’m documenting so I can go back and read this.  And see the progress we’ve made.  She found a couple of baby kittens on our driveway the other day.  We could not find a momma cat anywhere.  These kittens were maybe 1 or 2 days old.  They were little.  She’s now, with the help of my mom, bottle feeding them.  This is something she’s loved to do before, but the eating disorder also stole it from her as she could gain weight just by touching the formula to give to the kittens.  But she’s doing it again.  And I think she’s loving it again.  Then we were talking about one of the reasons they were recommending a higher level of care was the fear of gaining weight and absorbing calories through touch/the air.  I said that is very much an eating disorder behavior and she’s not even exhibiting it currently.  Yeah, my brain was starved then when I thought that.  It’s not now.  I was like mouth drop.  Wow.  Maybe we are getting some understanding and realization now that her brain isn’t starved what she was doing to her body?  I don’t know, but it has to be a positive step.  Then, every meal, every snack I try to encourage her to add more.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  The other night for dinner, she added strawberries.  I realize that in and of itself is not a huge win, but she didn’t count out the number of strawberries from the container.  She took the container to her seat and ate strawberries from it.  Now whether or not she counted them from there, I don’t know, but just the fact that she had them all with her and could have eaten them as she wanted was a huge win to me too.  I’m going to keep watching and keep reporting on the baby steps.