This Crazy Life

We just got back from our first planned vacation without her.  She didn’t go to Montana with us in July as she was in residential, but she had an airplane ticket and reservations to go.  This trip.  She didn’t have any of that.  You know it was a hard thing to do, but in all honesty, I did a good job compartmentalizing and just having a good time.  It was enjoyable.  We made a lot of memories.  I was truly happy.   She, however, was not.  They’ve increased her meal plan so of course there were a lot of the normal complaints.  This is too much.  I don’t need to gain any weight.  I’m not recovering, you can’t make me.  No one can make me.  I tried emotion coaching and I was told to get off the phone she didn’t want to talk to me anymore.  Basically, lots of emotions and feelings.  I know it gets hard as she gains more weight.  I just hope they keep her and keep pushing her and my insurance plays nice and lets them keep her so we can maybe work through this.  I know people say that more weight can be magical.  I’ll be honest, I don’t believe it will happen to her.  But every day she’s eating is one day her body can work to recover.  It’s another day I don’t have to make the decision if she needs to go to the hospital or not.  She’s safe.  Her therapist told me this weekend that she thinks I had very real expectations coming into this round of treatment.  She knows she’s not going to get better.  But we can make baby steps towards recovery.