This Crazy Life

Once again, I’m preparing to pick up my life and move it so I can supervise her during PHP.  A big difference this time is I told them I could only do 2 weeks.  It’s going to end up being about 2.5, but close enough.   If she was in a better mindset or if I thought PHP may actually help this time, I would be willing to stay longer.  But she’s not.  And my other kids are growing up.  And I like being home.  And I’m not going to let them guilt trip me into staying longer.  She’s already restricting more.  She’s already going to come home and lose weight.  She’s never going to go back to treatment again because they make her fat, obese and ugly.  But she’s also going to start restricting at home.  So, I’m not sure how she thinks the two things will work out.  But whatever, all I can do is the best I can do.  I’ve done a virtual supported snack twice this week.  She’s eaten nothing at either of them.  Well, I’ll take that back, one of the conditions of staying in T-Res is that she can’t not even attempt a meal or snack.  So, Tuesday she took a bite of a goldfish and on Thursday she dipped her finger in the marinara and licked it off.  So, she did “attempt.”  But Tuesday I was trying to emotion coach, I was trying to meal support.  I am of course eating with her during both of these.  I need you to take a bite with me.  Do you think this is an ED thought or a recovery thought.  I’m not recovering so obviously it’s not a recovery thought.  And then she muted me and put her head down.  So that was fun.  Thursday snack wasn’t much better except she didn’t mute me.  So progress?  I wish.  Then last night on the phone she told me she knew PHP was going to go awful because she’s done doing this.  She can’t wait until we get home to start.  So she’s going to have following and be in Sit and she’s just done.  It’s all my fault.  I kept her here too long.  I should have made them discharge her sooner.  She is definitely not doing this at home.  So yeah, how has your week been?