This Crazy Life

So, we’ve met w/ a new OCD team twice 4 times now.  Last time we started thinking of exposures we could work on.  This week I sat in on the call.  Let me tell you.  It’s a lot.  It’s depressing.  And overwhelming.  And I have no idea how we are ever going to get to even somewhat of a normal life.  Everything and I mean everything is so hard.  I hate hearing how much she struggles.  I see it, but then you don’t realize how life stopping it really is for her.  I thought I was coming up with easy things to challenge.  First, note, we’re staying away from all things food related.  She’s not ready to challenge that yet and we need to build up rapport and her confidence.  When she does laundry, she will tape the washer and dryer shut and draw lines on the tape, so she knows if it’s been tampered with.  So, I thought maybe we can still use the tape but not the lines.  No, that’s an 8 or 9. (We’re trying to find something around 5).  Ok, what if we only draw 1 line.  What about 2 lines.  Both were no good.  Ok, do you ever take someone else’s clothes out of the dryer.  Yes.  And that’s ok?  Yes.  So, I jumped in.  Are you using gloves?  Yes.  Ok, can you take someone else’s clothes out of the dryer without gloves.  No.  Do you use gloves to take your clothes out of the dryer.  No.  Do you wash your hands immediately.  Yes.  Do you think you could delay washing your hands after taking your clothes out of the dryer.  So that’s the goal.  Delay washing your hands after taking your clean clothes that have been sealed in the dryer out.  It’s so hard to imagine getting anywhere fast when this is our goal.  I’m trying to breathe.  I’m trying to stay patient.  I’ve also asked for therapist recommendations for me and the girls.  I just need someone to talk to.  Someone who can pat me on the head and say it will all be all right.