This Crazy Life

We’ve made it one and a half weeks at home!  It may not sound like much, but it’s a record since the middle of May when this cycle of in and out of the hospital started.  And she’s eating.  And she’s stable.  And we’ll be home for at least another week.  Well unless she just stops eating, which is always a possibility.  At the doctor this week I told them I’m torn.  I am so happy she’s stable and out of the hospital.  But at the same time, how long can this last.  How do I actually help her.  How slow can we go before she’s exhausted.  I said even our days that I call OK, most people would call a 1 on a scale of 1 to 10.  I guess it’s all relative but we have so far to go.  One little thing can set her off.  She worries about touching anything and any little crumb that touches something.  Everything has to be clean and washed and just perfect.  She couldn’t leave the house tonight to go to a movie because she was afraid to leave her food and knew if she did she wouldn’t be able to eat it tomorrow.  I told her I wasn’t going to force her, but we’re going to keep trying because I don’t want her to become completely homebound.  It’s definitely a complicated and delicate balancing act.  I just hope we can keep it up to make some progress.  Some real progress.  Against something.  Before everything comes crashing down.  But she is doing better with not crumbing and eating all her meals!!