This Crazy Life

We are on the brink of hospitalization.  Monday she decided in order to have more of a “normal” life she wasn’t going to exercise/move anymore.  Ok, fine.  But in order to people able to do that she’s cutting what she’s eating.  I have not had a chance to calculate it yet, but I will.  I’m guessing it’s around 1200 calories.  Maybe.  We went to the doctor on Wednesday, not surprising, but her weight is down, her vitals are down.  She’s falling off the cliff.  Her doctor, whom I love, told her if she ends up in the hospital between now and January at all she won’t be able to start school in January.  She won’t be medically stable enough.  She said she’s going to be pushing it all ready.  I knew the apt wasn’t going to be good.  She’s constantly cold and can’t get warm.  Of course, we’re having actual fall weather here, but it’s not cold.  It’s not.  But I know her body is burning extra calories just trying to keep it warm enough to function.  I also worry that as she knows she’s declining the eating disorder is “happy” and I would say get even stronger but I don’t think getting stronger is possible.  She’s pretty much maxed out.  We’ve made improvements on the OCD and I feel like most of the OCD only symptoms are resolved or making progress, however, the ED is just as strong as ever and tortures 24/7.