This Crazy Life

Even when you know the hospital is coming.  Even when you know it’s going to happen.  I’m not going to lie, it still fucking sucks.  You can never properly prepare to have your kid in the hospital.  Whether it’s the first time or the three thousandth time.  Can you become numb.  Absolutely.  But does it still absolutely suck.  Absolutely.  And when people tell you but she’s gone a long time out of the hospital, it’s not helpful.  It’s been three and a half months.  Months.  Not years.  Not even a year.  That’s not a long time.  It’s not.  It’s not helpful.  Acknowledge my pain.  Don’t try to take it away because it’s not going anywhere and you’re only going to make me angry in the process.  People are allowed to feel.  I was talking to my therapist yesterday and we had this conversation.  People make the posts on facebook or say the things in real life when they are going through something and people are quick to say it will get better.  It will be ok.  And the most evil one of all, God doesn’t give you more than you can handle.  Are any of these helpful.  Absolutely not.   Tell me I’m allowed to be angry.  I’m allowed to be pissed.  I’m allowed to cry.  Yes, at the end of the day do I have to get over it and continue on with life.  Unfortunately, yes.  But it’s not because I want to, it’s not because I think I can.  It’s because I have absolutely no other fucking choice.  Moving forward is the only option.  So next time someone is in pain, let them be in pain.  Sit in the pain with them.  It may not be comfortable but I think if we can get used to experiencing pain it can make all of us that much happier.  And if someone does or says something that isn’t helpful, tell them.  That is not helpful.  How else do we learn.  If your child smacked you and you did nothing how do they learn not to smack.  They learn not to smack because we tell them from an early age hitting is not ok.  Mental hits are no different.  I really do hope this is helpful!