This Crazy Life

This isn’t about my child with anorexia.  This is about her identical twin sister.  We have been fighting school refusal.  Tooth and nail.  Christmas break has been a nice relief.  Then they got a couple of extra days off of school for snow.  They go back tomorrow.  She’s all ready telling me she can’t go.  She can’t do it.  My nerves are now already shot.  It’s a battle every morning.  At what point can I just say fine I give up.  Throw your life away.  It’s not what I want.  But I can’t do this every day for months on end.  I can’t.  But I also can’t sit back and watch her throw her life down the drain.  I don’t think she realizes the kind of impact not graduating high school will have on her future success.  In fact I’m sure she doesn’t realize that.  At this point.  And mom knows nothing, so she’s not going to listen to me.  And I’m burnt the f out.  It feels like I’ve been living in literal fight or flight mode for the past 25 years.  I know it hasn’t actually been that long, but dang if it doesn’t feel like it.