This Crazy Life

We’re not doing good.  We’re going through piles and piles of cleaning supplies.  Both getting used and wasted.  If they are out of her sight for a second she can’t use them.  If a package has a mark on them she can’t use them.  Yesterday I went to the store 6 different times and I know my mom went atleast once.  I’ve been 3 times already today.  I told her today I can’t keep doing this.  I have to work and I have other bills to pay.  We’re going to have to figure this out because it’s only escalating.  And quickly.  And if she can’t do it and doesn’t eat then we’ll go to the hospital.  And if we have to go back to the hospital again and again until we find something that works at home, then that’s what we’ll do.  Because this, this is not working.  I don’t know what to do, but we can’t keep doing this.  She’s literally in fear 24/7 that oil has been added to everything, Clorox wipes, aerosol cans of Lysol, paper towels, etc.  She told me today that she was just so tired of doing this she didn’t think she could do it anymore.  And I get it the best I can.  I can’t even begin to fathom how exhausting it is.  And how much work she has to put into doing every single mudane thing.  Her quality of life is back down to about negative 5.  She’s having no joy in anything.  Nothing.  I wish there was someway that someone somewhere could help her.