This Crazy Life

I saw a couple of posts yesterday on a Facebook group that really stuck out to me about medical PTSD and being a survivor.  A lot of days I feel weak.  I feel like a failure.  I haven’t been able to get my daughter to get better.  I’m not strong enough.  Another person could have…

I hate that she gets home sick.  I got home sick as a child.  Heck, I still get home sick as an adult.  And it is no fun.   I wish I could rescue her.  I wish I could keep her safe at home.  I wish this disease didn’t have such an awful hold on her. …

They tell you comparisons can be strong in ED treatment.  We’ve never had a huge issue with it, until yesterday.  A new patient came and instantly started making comments to my daughter.  Do you count calories or just totally restrict?  Have you been in the hospital for not eating?  I think you’re worse than me. …

We had our first family therapy at Clementine.  They are trying to help her see a life without her eating disorder.  Help her find herself.  Discover who she is.  They started with wanting her to imagine a happy day.  Is your eating disorder there.  Yes.  Of course.  Then we went 10 years in the future. …

The debate over taking medicine continues.  She is 100% against it.  Everyone else thinks it will help.  She’s now refusing to take anything from nursing including extra water to help with her dehydration, vitamins, miralax and of course Prozac.  It’s her eating disorder and she’s not doing it.  They may take away privileges to try…

Clementine only supplements with room temperature, vanilla, ensure plus.  She does not like this.  She does not like this so much, that so far, she’s completing 100% by food.  We have never completed 100% by food.  Anywhere.  She’s eating food she’s not eaten for years.  She ate Mexican at a restaurant last week.  She commented…

We have always been a vacation family.  I grew up traveling and have worked (hard) to share my love of traveling with the girls.  Anorexia has prevented many family vacations in the last two years.  Don’t worry, we still traveled.  I took the girls on birthday trips with friends and there were cheer competitions and…

We admitted to Clementine yesterday.  It was the most stressful admissions I have ever experienced.  First, they told us to discharge from the hospital on Wednesday so we could admit on Friday.  But they didn’t want to check to make sure we could admit on Friday until I forced the issue.  I’m sorry, but I’m…

I feel like I could be Shakespeare.  We’re looking for residential options.  Her dietician and I agree that someplace smaller and has the option to do more individualized treatment plan would benefit her.  Some where that can meet her on her level and work with her.  As opposed to the ERCs of the world that…

So residential round 3 is inevitable at this point.  I think I’ve decided on Laurette unless the wait is just too long or they won’t take her.  Which I’m always afraid could be the case.  Clementine in St. Louis does not currently have a wait, it’s my second choice and I have to get some…