This Crazy Life

My two twins got into it yesterday afternoon after school.  I’ve mentioned before about the tension in the house.  Well my sick daugther’s twin sister just has such a chip on her shoulder.  She finds her sister (who used to be her best friend) so frustrating and annoying.  She doesn’t understand why nothing can touch…

You know what’s not socially acceptable?  Hating your child.  Thinking in your head multiple times of day how much you hate them.  Yes, I know it’s the eating disorder.  Yes, I know it’s not her.  Yes, I know she’s very sick.  But sometimes, and by sometimes I mean multiple times a day, I can only…

I’m used to being alone.  In fact, I crave alone time a lot.  But what has become more and more obvious these past few months is just how alone I really am.  Last night a mom text me to check in on my daughter.  Our daughters were roommates for a brief period in residential and…

This has been on my mind a lot.  When do I get a break.  When do I get to say I’m ok with her being not ok.  Is that possible?  As a mom?  Do you ever get to sit back and say I’m ok with my daughter being severely sick with anorexia?  The other eating…

I thought I knew about eating disorders.  Anorexia, you don’t eat, you get skinny, end of story.  Bulimia you binge and purge.  It seemed easy enough.  I never realized how far off the little bit I knew was.  I didn’t know not only could anorexia kill you but it could destroy the entire family.  The…

What do you do when your heart and your gut are in a constant state of disagreement.  She’s lost more weight.  The eating disorder is getting stronger.  You can tell.  Her quality of life is shit.  But she’s home.  And she’s so much happier at home than anywhere else.  My gut says it’s time to…

It’s mud season in the Midwest.  And we live in the country on gravel roads.  There is lots of mud here.  A normal person probably has no idea how mud can even possibly relate to an eating disorder.  But it can.  Boy can it.  My daughter is a huge animal lover.  That is one of…

This week is our school district’s spring break.  It’s the first time in school history we’ve gotten an actual spring break and have an entire week off.  Typically, we would be on a vacation somewhere warm and tropical.  We would be having fun.  But we haven’t been on a family vacation for 2 years now. …

Or maybe a should title this my 13-year-old wants to live in a house alone.  The paranoia in our house has reached all-time high levels.  Not only are we adding butter and oil to food, sealed food at that, but we are also adding butter and oil to her napkins and cups.  And it’s wafting…