This Crazy Life

Early on in this process I got on meds for anxiety.  They helped.  A lot.  That was all I had time for.  Now that I’m home and settling into a routine I thought seeing a real in person therapist might be beneficial.  I had looked on my insurance company’s website and started my search.  It…

We’re back again to taking baby steps.  Small steps forward.  I was in the art room at McCallum yesterday.  It was a pretty cool place.  Quotes and pictures all over the walls.  Most of them I’ve heard before during this journey but there was a new one, I really liked.  Falling down is still forward…

Through this journey I have met a lot of people.  I have really connected with two other ED mothers.  I would now consider them some of my best friends.  We can talk about anything, not just ED.  They get it.  They understand.  They remember the roller coaster of feelings I go through daily.  They help…

I think we are settling into a routine, an exhausting routine, but a routine none the less.  We’ve now had a couple of dinner passes, and she has a dinner pass for Saturday and Sunday both.  They haven’t gone amazing, but we’re home, and she’s eating.  I really like McCallum Place.  The communication is top…

We made it home from 8+ weeks in PHP round 2.  And the restriction started immediately.  One time was “my fault” as she was eating lunch and said she was eating like a pig.  I told her she was not eating like a pig she was eating like a person that wanted her life back. …

We are going home!  8.5 weeks in PHP at ERC Dallas and we are going home.  But she’s going to stay in treatment.  She’s upset.  She was here as long as Veritas and she didn’t have to stay in treatment.  Yes, but look how that worked out for us.  She’s going to start treatment at…

It’s weird.  Or maybe not.  But I do a lot of thinking and dreaming and imagining when I’m sitting in a hotel room alone for hours.  There is only so much you can do a day and there is lots of “free” time no matter what you do.  I often think about where I went…

She’s (I started by saying we, it feels like I’m right there with her, but I am not) been on the same meds since early January.  We’ve increased dosages but haven’t played with anything else since April.  100mg of Zoloft.  25 mg of Hydroxyzine 3 times a day.  5 mg of Zyprexa.  It’s obviously not…

Birthdays are hard.  I think all holidays are probably hard, but yesterday was her birthday so that’s fresh in my mind.  First, she was upset she didn’t get a pass on her birthday.  The pass 2 days before did not go the best, so it makes sense to me they didn’t think a pass was…

Today she had her first day off from PHP.  This was to see how she would cope with eating at home.  She was also supposed to stay out of the kitchen while I prepared meals and snacks.  I knew this was going to be hard for her eating disorder as it likes to be in…