This Crazy Life

That’s it.  That’s all I have to say.  Life is Dumb.  I’m exhausted.  I’m tired.  I’m heartbroken.  I’m broken.  I’m spending my days running all over the place to find “safe” food for my daughter b/c someone might contaminate the food at any given grocery store on any given day.  We are buying food for…

We’re becoming regulars.  Again.  And I’m back to not knowing what to do.  Do you keep her home.  Do you try residential again.  This last time we came home on a feeding tube.  However, their was a problem getting supplies so she’s taken it out while we wait and we’re going to end up back…

We’re back in the hospital.  It all got to be too much.  Keeping stuff safe was too much work.  Eating and drinking wasn’t happening and we are starting to wear her down on trying medicine.  So we’re back in my favorite, most expensive hotel, with the worst accommodations.  But she’s safe.  That’s what I keep…

My daughter suffers from severe contamination OCD, it all stems back to the ED, but it is displayed as OCD.  We were making some progress and then we weren’t.  Nothing is safe.  Everything has had oil added to it.  She’s going to gain weight if she uses it, yes these are things she uses, not…

I don’t know why when you start talking about having kids people don’t pull you aside and tell you the negative parts of being a mom.  They don’t tell you the dirty parts.  They tell you the sunshine and rainbows.  How much would our birth rate go down if people knew the real honest to…

We’re not doing good.  We’re going through piles and piles of cleaning supplies.  Both getting used and wasted.  If they are out of her sight for a second she can’t use them.  If a package has a mark on them she can’t use them.  Yesterday I went to the store 6 different times and I…

Back to the ED child.  We are struggling with trust.  She says her ED and OCD are better than they’ve ever been and this trust has nothing to do with her ED.  Except she’s paranoid we are adding oil into things she uses and if they get out of her sight at all she can’t…

I talked to my therapist on Tuesday.  My child didn’t go to school.  She went Monday.  Her stomach hurt, her head hurt.  I think she has some pretty intense social anxiety.  Why I have no idea, but it is definitely a real thing.  Anyway back to my therapist.  We talked a lot about controlling my…

This isn’t about my child with anorexia.  This is about her identical twin sister.  We have been fighting school refusal.  Tooth and nail.  Christmas break has been a nice relief.  Then they got a couple of extra days off of school for snow.  They go back tomorrow.  She’s all ready telling me she can’t go. …

It’s a new year!  I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I want to improve myself in 2025.  Things I want to accomplish.  Who I want to be.  I’ve been listening to podcasts for inspiration, if you have any good ones let me know!  I’ve been trying to find myself.  I can’t make other people…