This Crazy Life

I’ve heard an eating disorder described as a 100 rung ladder multiple times.  It takes a long time to reach the top.  There’s no magic cure that flies you to the 100^th step.  Some people’s ladders are much easier to climb and some much harder, but for everyone it is a process, a typically long process.  Residential does not cure an eating disorder.  I’ve tried to tell as many people this as I can.  She will not come home from residential cured.  Ever.  It’s just a boost up the ladder.  I was talking to our family therapist about the ladder when we were discussing the need for residential again and she asked some questions.  Questions that only a person on the outside can really ask and can help you see as you are often too in the midst of it yourself to see things clearly.  She asked where my daughter was on the ladder last November when we decided to send her to residential.  I told her probably -20.  She asked where she came home.  I said maybe 15.  We weren’t far up the ladder.  I knew it.  However, she told me that while 15 isn’t high.  From -20 that was up 35 steps.  35 steps.  That’s pretty significant.  She asked me where I put my daughter on the ladder now since she’s been home.  I said probably a 5 or a 10.  We had definitely lost ground since coming home from Veritas, but we were still in a much better place than last November.  She then told me if she gains 35 more rungs this go around that would put her between 40 and 45.  We would be almost halfway up the ladder.  She was right.  Not even another big jump, but enough.  Maybe we could get to the middle and make more progress.  I think I will always remember this conversation because it really did show all the progress we had made.