This Crazy Life

We’re not doing good.  We’re going through piles and piles of cleaning supplies.  Both getting used and wasted.  If they are out of her sight for a second she can’t use them.  If a package has a mark on them she can’t use them.  Yesterday I went to the store 6 different times and I…

Back to the ED child.  We are struggling with trust.  She says her ED and OCD are better than they’ve ever been and this trust has nothing to do with her ED.  Except she’s paranoid we are adding oil into things she uses and if they get out of her sight at all she can’t…

I talked to my therapist on Tuesday.  My child didn’t go to school.  She went Monday.  Her stomach hurt, her head hurt.  I think she has some pretty intense social anxiety.  Why I have no idea, but it is definitely a real thing.  Anyway back to my therapist.  We talked a lot about controlling my…

This isn’t about my child with anorexia.  This is about her identical twin sister.  We have been fighting school refusal.  Tooth and nail.  Christmas break has been a nice relief.  Then they got a couple of extra days off of school for snow.  They go back tomorrow.  She’s all ready telling me she can’t go. …

It’s a new year!  I’ve been reflecting a lot on how I want to improve myself in 2025.  Things I want to accomplish.  Who I want to be.  I’ve been listening to podcasts for inspiration, if you have any good ones let me know!  I’ve been trying to find myself.  I can’t make other people…

Merry Christmas!  We are all home and under one roof.  Christmas looked a little different than it has in years past.  But the kids are older anyway.  Every year is going to be different I’m afraid as they grow up more and more.  When you don’t have kids and only teens it’s hard.  I feel…

A lot of my depression comes from feeling like I’ve lost my family.  We are not the same as we were pre anorexia.  We used to be fun.  We used to have fun.  We used to enjoy each others’ company.  Now I’m not sure any of those statements are true.  I’ve talked to my therapist…

This isn’t about anorexia or eating disorders.  This is about me.  Whoever me is, I don’t even know anymore.  What do you do when you just feel like you can’t do it anymore.  All of it.  Not just the eating disorder, but all of this life.  All of these teenage problems.  Husband problems.  Work problems. …

We are home for Thanksgiving!  Now we have to smell proof her room(s) or it’s not going to be a good day.  But she’s home.  I don’t have to worry about splitting time between home and the hospital.  And getting to enjoy hospital food for Thanksgiving.  I get to have my family together.  Under one…

I know she’s going to have bad moments.  Or even bad days.  But what is really hard is when you see her having a bad day after a bad day after a bad day.  The fear in the pit of your stomach that never actually leaves intensifies because you just feel it coming.  I don’t…