This Crazy Life

She’s been in school for 2 weeks.  2 entire weeks.  Somedays have been better than others.  In fact one day was pretty downright ugly.  But we’re making it.  We fried some fish for dinner one night this week.  She of course didn’t eat it, but then that stopped her ability to walk into the kitchen. …

We discharged from Clementine on 8/18.  It’s been one month.  She’s within 2.5 pounds of her discharge weight.  Including the week + that she was at PHP and not eating at all.  She’s still eating.  She’s in school.  She’s communicating with people.  I am still very cautiously optimistic and I refuse to celebrate too much. …

I dropped her off at school today.  A new school.  Starting 8th grade.   I’m so nervous.  But so excited at the same time.  This is a big step.  A step in hopefully the right direction.  We went to the doctor yesterday and she was so positive.  She could see such a big change in her…

She’s been home for just over a week.  She’s been eating.  Not enough in my opinion, but she’s eating.  And she’s doing life.  And she’s trying to be a person.  Which is huge in my opinion.  But I was really afraid weight would be down today.  I just knew it would be actually.  And that…

This is big in my house right now.  Her sister.  Her twin sister, is not even trying to support her recovery.  In fact, in my opinion, she’s jeopardizing it, even if not fully intentional.  She is trying to get better.  She’s talking about going back to school.  Her sister doesn’t want her at school.  Everyone…

I’m documenting so I can go back and read this.  And see the progress we’ve made.  She found a couple of baby kittens on our driveway the other day.  We could not find a momma cat anywhere.  These kittens were maybe 1 or 2 days old.  They were little.  She’s now, with the help of…

They recommended a higher level of care.  I knew it was coming.  But I can’t do it.  So we pulled her.  We’re going to try it at home.  Again.  Worse case scenario, she’s back in residential in a month.  Best case scenario she gets into recovery.  More likely scenario we plug along at home for…

And for some reason it’s really stressing me out.  We weren’t going to do PHP this time.  I honestly didn’t want to waste the time, energy, money, etc.  But then when she said she wanted to recover I thought it would be good.  I’m honestly already regretting it.  My stress level is high.  Her stress…

She’s done.  She wants to come home.  She hates her team.  They aren’t helping her.  She’s refusing to work with them.  Now don’t get me wrong, there have been several red flags.  Several things I’m not sure of.  But she’s eating.  She’s drinking.  Well, she was.  Until Friday.  And since then, it’s been one meal…

She wants to recover.   Well she says she wants to recover so she can come home.  They did an exercise and talked about how not choosing recovery just keeps you in treatment and away from home longer.   So that day she decided she wants to recover.  And that’s her story and she’s sticking to it. …